|Have you ever done something in the blink of an eye that you instantly regretted? …Of course not.
You wish you could hit rewind and reel those snarky words back into your mouth. Or dodge the car in front of you that your bumper just kissed. Or un-dance like Seinfeld’s Elaine at the office party.
But you can’t. Just like that (can you hear me snapping?) it’s out there and can’t be undone.
I spent yesterday in a court room. A friend was on trial for one of those snap moments. He’d been in a hard place emotionally and made a dumb decision in public–he’ll tell you the same thing. No one was hurt, and in most situations it would be no cause for lasting concern, but in this particular situation it carried consequences. Those consequences could’ve ranged from very minor to very serious. I know that’s vague, but my point is this: while the jury deliberation dragged on, my friend commented quietly, “You know, something you do in a split second can jeopardize everything you’ve worked for over 30 years.” Those words struck me.
His future rested in the hands of fellow citizens.
While we all waited and waited, I doodled some poetry and thought about what he said. My mind’s eye meandered through the graveyard of m
y own, big split-second regrets. It wasn’t a long path, but it also wasn’t a pleasant jaunt.
Funny how those things can alter our life. Some have minor consequences, some major, switching our path to one side or the other. I finished my trip down regretful memory lane, mentally sitting down to rest. God whispered to me,
reminding me that He can take all things and fashion them for His purpose. I smiled, and glanced back at the path I’d just taken, spying flowers growing up to overtake the graves of regrets, buried by His grace. Beauty triumphed.
I’m so thankful that, despite mistakes, our future rests in His hands.
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January 8th, 2009 at 7:25 am
How true this is. Scary too, at least in the sense that something you can do in an instant can alter your life for years. Good thing we have God, Who can turn even our worst mistakes into blessings.
January 8th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Alison, I think this has become one of my favorites. I’d be curious to find out how everything settled. Good job.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Thank you for evoking the image with the words “..buried by His grace.” Reminds me of the common words of our ministers, “Buried with Christ in baptism, raised to walk in newness of life.”
January 8th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Many years ago, I would go from zero and angry at the drop of a hat. I didn’t always show it, but I always felt it. I also had a problem with wanting to open up all of my Christmas presents early (which I think is really a Godly attribute in disguise).
So, I started praying for patience. I figured with patience I would also learn to control my emotions and my anger. And God gave it to me. Probably too much, because now I suspect I don’t get angry enough. That could just be my jaded view of humanity after 15 years of ministry work (nothing hardly surprises me anymore). But, my prayer is for patience for this friend as well. And I hope God gives it to him.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
You said it, Billy! I’m amazed by His love and grace. What you said reminds me that I need to be more diligent letting others know that they can have this, too.
Will, I’ll tell you more in person when I see y’all, but I will say that it could’ve been a lot worse. Hmm…”one of” your favorites. I wonder what else made the list. =)
Thanks, Daddy, for those thoughts. That’s a great analogy. I love it when you stop by.
David, you are one of the most patient people I know (except when it comes to presents and awaiting shipments!). I think more people should be like you; I admire you, sweetie.
January 9th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I’m a serial open-mouth-insert-footer. If I could manage to think before speaking more often, it would clear up a lot of my regrets. But what a great spin you put on God’s view of our mistakes.
If anything, God has taught me to consider other people’s feelings before wagging my tongue. My words still fumble, but there’s much less sting in them now.
January 10th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Oh, what a touching post Alison. And so, so true. I firmly believe that, if we knew how fragile our lives really are, we’d probably all cower in our beds. Things can change inside of one second for sure. Can’t we all point to at least one close call, one moment where one turn of the wheel, one more word spoken, would have unraveled all we hold dear?
Beautiful post. Thank you for the lovely flowers in your words and on the page visually.
January 15th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Thanks for your thoughts, Sarah and Gwen. They made me think!